Going on a Trip

In Search of Nijinsky

March 29 | 2025

I booked my trip to Switzerland to work on my project, In Search of Nijinsky. I will leave on April 14, which is both exciting and terrifying. I’m a little afraid of disappointing myself—that there will be nothing there I can use or that I won’t know how to use it. But at the same time, it’s always better than regretting I didn’t go. I decided not to prepare too much because too much preparation brings me pressure and stress.

I booked only the first two nights in a hotel in Kreuzlingen. I’ll fly to Zurich and take the train from there. Kreuzlingen is where Nijinsky was admitted to a mental institution in 1919. Parts of the building still remain, and I’d like to explore them to see if anything is left for me to use. Or maybe the repurposed sections will be interesting, too.

I’ve decided to just go and take things as they come.
Maybe the unknown—and my anxiety—will help me create the images I need.

Another goal of mine is to work on Nijinsky’s final weeks of freedom—when he was still able to write about his emotions while walking up and down the mountains, talking to trees, and gazing at the landscape. In my naïvety, I thought I could do the same. But I’m not experienced in mountain walking at all. When I mentioned my plan to a friend, she looked at me and said, “You don’t think you can just go off and walk into the mountains on your own, do you? You have to prepare! I want you to come home safely.”

Her words made me feel a bit foolish. But at the same time, I don’t know what to prepare for—because, realistically, I’ll probably be too scared to go on a solo mountain walk. I am afraid of heights, and I’ve had a few unpleasant encounters with strangers in the past, so walking alone makes me uneasy.

Still, I love adventure, and this feels like one—especially going without a well-thought-out plan. Don’t get me wrong, of course, I’ve thought about it a little, but I like having space and not knowing exactly where I’m going yet. That’s why I haven’t booked a return flight.

I’ve decided to just go and take things as they come. Maybe the unknown—and my anxiety—will help me create the images I need.