November 2023
‘In Search of Nijinsky’ is a personal quest into the inner world of Vaslav Nijinsky, one of the most influential dancers of the 20th century. What began as a fascination with his extraordinary dance abilities—how he used his body to convey emotions and tell stories—has evolved into a deeper exploration of his mental state, particularly during the period surrounding his diagnosis of schizophrenia and the time he spent in various clinics until his death.
The images I create serve as metaphors for the complexities of the human brain—the disorder, disruption, and vulnerability that often remain invisible to the outside world, much like how mental health issues are frequently overlooked. Nijinsky's diaries, written shortly before his admission to a psychiatric clinic, reveal a flow of unstructured thoughts, as if the words poured directly from his pen, unfiltered. The sincerity and intensity of his writing remind me of how he might have danced—without restraint, fully in the moment. There are no moving images of these performances, only descriptions and a handful of photographs.
My project is not a documentary, nor an informative account of Nijinsky's life. Those stories have already been told. Instead, I aim to capture the loneliness and inner struggles that followed his public life. It is an attempt to understand what was happening in his mind when his body was no longer his primary instrument. Did he still dream of dancing? Did his thoughts move in rhythms and leaps, as his body once had?
This project is a search for recognition, for understanding, for a moment of silence amidst the chaos. A moment when we no longer have to pretend everything is normal but can briefly surrender to the truth of what is going on within us.
When I started my Nijinsky project, I went to Nancy in France to meet up with Lorenzo, an Italian dancer I had met in the Netherlands during a backstage shoot with DDDD (De Dutch Don’t Dance Division, The Hague).
When I thought about how I wanted to capture Nijinsky, Lorenzo came to mind, and I decided to visit him. At the time, I had no clear idea of what I wanted to photograph or how, but for me, it works best when I just start. I call that sketching.
We photographed for two days. A few of the images immediately struck a chord with me. Now that I am further along in the process and have a clearer sense of what I want to convey, I am revisiting the photos I took back then.
